Maxwell Nate Hansen

My Beautiful little nephew Maxwell Nate Hansen was born stillborn at 39 weeks at 7 pounds 10 oz. He was perfect, and sooo beautiful. This was May 17th, two months ago. Other than family and close friends, I haven't really wanted to share this because I wasn't ready. I was and still am dealing with it at a pace comfortable for me.

It has been hard to watch my brother and his wife go through this. It has been hard to see them hurt so much. I want to take this away from them. But I know that this was in the plan for them, and that they will come out of this stronger and with so much faith. Max will always be their son. He will always be with them.

He is beautiful, and special and amazing. I love having him as a member of my family. Even if it's not exactly how we wanted it. Emotions are like a roller coaster, and grief is no different. I have been experiences waves emotion of good and bad.

Times when I feel Sad

Times when I feel Angry

Times when I feel Hope

Times when I feel Love and Joy

I miss him and I want him here. I love him so much. He is a very special spirit. His knowledge of the plan is so much bigger than mine, I have so much I need to learn. This was his mission.
He is watching over us and he loves and teaches us everyday.

Where Can I Turn for Peace?

I am preparing my lesson for Relief Society on Sunday and I am loving the topic. The lesson is on a conference talk in the April 2013 session by Quentin L Cook called Personal Peace: The Reward of Righteousness. 

He starts off talking about two experiences he had recently that caused him to reflect on the doctrine of peace and the role of Jesus Christ in helping us obtain personal peace. One was a funeral he spoke at for a 6 year old girl who was shot and killed in the Newton Connecticut shooting. He said while he was there, he mourned with her parents and he said he felt strength and faith in them. Days after their precious innocent little girl was violently killed for no reason at all, they showed faith and strength. Wow. He said that the little girl's father expressed forgiveness immediately after the shooting to the perpetrator. 

The other experience was when he went to a church in a West-African country has endured economic hardship, a military coup, and two recent civil wars concluding in 2011. These members were strong, and he said he felt a special peace in their presence.

So many events happen in our lives that can rob us of our personal peace, and our feelings of safety. Like the attacks on September 11, 2011, family members suffering trials, or death of loved ones.

Elder Cook said, "We all long for peace. Peace is not just safety or lack of war, violence, conflict, and contention. Peace comes from knowing that the Savior knows who we are and knows that we have faith in Him, love Him, and keep His commandments, even and especially amid life’s devastating trials and tragedies. The Lord’s answer to the Prophet Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail brings solace to the heart:

“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high.”

Terrible things happen. They can and do happen to good people every day. One single event can happen and cause a massive earthquake in our lives, reeking havoc with mass destruction. Events that rob us of peace. 

WHERE CAN I TURN FOR PEACE? The Savior 

Where can I turn for Peace?

Where is my Solice, when other sources cease to make me whole?

When with a wounded heart, anger or malice, I draw myself apart searching my soul?

Where, when my aching grows, where, when I languish, Where in my need to know, here can I run?

Where is the quiet hand to calm my anquish?

Who, can understand? He, only one.

He answers privately, reaches my reaching

In my Gethsamane, Savior and friend.

Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.

Constant he is and kind, Love without end.

It seems I can find a song for every time I feel I need something. I love how music enters our hearts and our lives without us even knowing it sometimes. Its so beautiful.

Lift up your hearts in praise to God;

Let your rejoicings never cease.

Though tribulations rage abroad,

Christ says, “In me ye shall have peace.